Updated September 2026: in early 2020, while I was on vacation, my manager stopped responding to the onsite team after they kept discarding his changes. When I returned, the onsite contact emailed me directly and left him out. I looped him back in. I have rewritten it into advice for when a client-side contact starts bypassing your manager.
While I was away, my manager grew frustrated that the onsite team kept rejecting the slides he worked on, and at one point he ignored their emails and waited for me to return. When I did, the onsite point of contact wrote directly to me with the changes, leaving my manager off. I added him to the thread so that nothing would later be escalated as a surprise, and checked with him separately that he was aware. This time he was happy for me to make the updates, and we closed the request and submitted the deck by the end of the weekend.
Why do stakeholders start bypassing a manager?
Usually because communication through the manager has stopped working: replies are slow, changes are disputed or the manager has disengaged, as mine had. The stakeholder goes to whoever gets the work done. It is a signal about the working relationship, not necessarily about anyone's competence.
Should you reply directly or loop your manager in?
Loop them in, openly, as I did. Replying privately might feel efficient, but it puts you in the middle of a relationship problem that is not yours to solve, and it can look like you are going around your manager. Adding them keeps the record complete and protects you if something goes wrong later.
How do you raise it with your manager?
Privately and without judgement: "The onsite team sent these changes to me directly. I have copied you. How would you like us to handle their requests from here?" This gives your manager the chance to reset the arrangement, whether by re-engaging or by agreeing that you handle the day-to-day.
What if your manager is happy for you to take over?
Agree the boundaries: which decisions you can make, which need their approval, and how you will keep them informed. Then tell the stakeholder, so they know who to contact. A clear handover of day-to-day contact is healthier than an informal workaround.
How do you close the work cleanly?
Confirm the final version with both the stakeholder and your manager, submit, and send a short closing email noting what was delivered. Clean closure helps everyone reset before the next opportunity, especially after a tense one.