Updated September 2026: in 2018 I wrote about closing a bid with a rude, ego-driven delivery expert and a disengaged teammate, where the expert kept changing his mind and eventually shouted at me. I have rewritten it into advice on handling a colleague who shouts.
I had to finish the bid with the hardest team I had worked with: an expert with a rude manner and a big ego, and a teammate who did not care about the work. At first only our team was involved, and our scope turned out to be smaller than other teams', who joined later, so I relaxed a little. But every call with the expert brought new suggestions, changes and opinions. I bent over backwards to accommodate them. At one point, while I was working hard to close every open item, he shouted at me.
What should you do when someone shouts at you at work?
- Do not shout back: keep your voice level.
- Pause the conversation: "Let us pick this up in ten minutes."
- Follow up in writing: with the facts and the next steps, not the emotion.
- Tell your manager: the same day, factually.
Is shouting ever acceptable?
No. Pressure explains it but does not excuse it. Most companies' codes of conduct cover abusive behaviour, and HR should know if it happens repeatedly.
How do you stop endless changes?
Agree a cut-off date for changes, keep a change log, and ask for comments in one consolidated list. When changes contradict earlier ones, point that out calmly and ask which version stands.
How do you finish a bid in a tense team?
Focus on the deadline and the client. Keep interactions short and documented, and share progress widely so no one person controls the outcome.
What should happen after the bid?
A short, factual review with your manager. Difficult behaviour that is never raised tends to repeat on the next bid.
How do you look after yourself afterwards?
Take a short break before the next call, talk to someone you trust, and remind yourself that the behaviour says more about the other person's pressure than about your work.